The Psychological Grip That Keeps You Stuck
He keeps showing you he is not healthy. Intellectually, you know you need to break up with him. However, on a deep emotional level, you cannot seem to follow through on it.
You get the courage to do it, and begin to walk away, but then something happens… You start to feel the crushing pain of abandonment and deep loneliness, unlike anything you have ever experienced—and it surprises you how unsettled it feels. It feels like starving for connection, gasping for air. Suddenly, life starts to feel and look different, and you become unable to function. You struggle to understand your inner experience, and why do the simplest daily tasks feel like an overwhelming challenge?
You’re in withdrawal from the trauma bond… but you don’t know this yet
You don’t understand yourself. You wanted this. You were so sure three days ago when he hurt you again.
But now? That certainty has vanished.
The anger, the disgust, the clarity you felt in that moment—it’s like it never existed.
You can’t even recall the depth of pain you felt when you swore you were done.
All you can feel now is the desperate pull back toward him. Like a magnet, like an addiction, like you need him just to breathe.
It’s like your brain is playing tricks on you. You can’t even trust your own thinking anymore. Every time you say you’re done, you mean it—you feel it in your bones. But then, somehow, you find yourself right back here again, caught in the same cycle.
Where did my strength go? Why does the idea of leaving feel so impossible?
You don’t understand your inner experience because, intellectually, you know the truth. You have witnessed and heard things that cannot be undone. You know that the level of betrayal and broken trust has gone so far beyond what you thought you would ever allow.
You know he manipulates you and is not being honest, yet you stay, hoping, rationalizing, and waiting for the version of him that once made you feel loved.
The First Step to Understanding Trauma Bonds
The confusion, the emotional whiplash, the inability to trust your own thoughts—this is not just in your head.
Acknowledging this confusion is the first step to realizing that something much deeper is at play.
This isn’t just about love, attachment, or bad decisions. It’s the awakening to the idea that a psychological pattern is happening.
Your mind is caught in a loop, a trauma bond that keeps you stuck between two realities—the version of him that loves you and the version of him that destroys you.
This isn’t a failure of willpower. This is a cycle that has been wired into your brain, and until you recognize it for what it is, you will keep reliving it.
If these words resonate with you—if you feel trapped in the unbearable push and pull of wanting to leave but feeling like you can’t—you are not alone. What you’re experiencing isn’t weakness, and it isn’t love. It can be broken.
Healing starts with understanding, and understanding starts with support. You don’t have to figure this out on your own. Join my free Facebook community, where women just like you are learning how to break free, heal deeply, and rebuild their lives with self-worth and peace.
You are worthy of more. You are worthy of peace. And you are stronger than this bond that’s holding you back. Let’s take this step together.
Ready to take the next step?
Book a clarity call by visiting my Contact page and filling out the form. You can also reach out via Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok—just send me a DM. I’m passionate about supporting and guiding women because I once longed for someone to help me understand myself and live my life to the fullest. I can’t wait to meet you, because you deserve a wonderful, fulfilling life. Let’s get started together.
